She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
