come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
