Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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