just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
