3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
