apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
