You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
