I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize