Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
