my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
