Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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