Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
