you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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