And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
