I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
