no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
