Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
