Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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