her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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