He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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