To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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