GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize