you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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