I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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