I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
