I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
