I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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