They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
how drunk are you?
Several
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
