We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
