I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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