Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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