ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
