you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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