the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He passed out mid-signature
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found the puke drawer
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
