I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
