$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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