He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize