i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
