I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
