Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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