Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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