if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
