Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
