You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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