hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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