dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I didn't notice because vodka
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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