id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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