thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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