I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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