he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
