I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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