We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You were trust falling into bushes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
