So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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