He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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