Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
