youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
