are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
