But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
