He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
