Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
