NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
