Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
