no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
