her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
