Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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